Friday, May 28, 2010

The childhood I lost replaced by fear (TRUTH vs lies)



The past week has been a lot about the truth & lies. So many dichotomies. Recently there was also dead/alive, asleep/awake. Dunno if I’ve said this already but I’m a Gemini so I’m full of duality. Although all men are, right? Sometimes I think Gemini is, in this aspect, like an exaggeration of the contradictions & polar opposites that characterise all ppl. I wonder what my friends Cali & Lucinda who study Astrology think.

Anyways. I’ve mostly been a fan of telling/knowing the truth, honesty, etc. Sometimes even going overboard w/ this. But @ the same time, I dig evasion. Victoria Mil, an Argentine band, has a lyric: “Prefiero mi mentira a tu verdad”, which means “I prefer my lie over your truth”. I always liked it. It reminded me of the Manic Street Preachers saying: “I know I believe in nothing but it is my nothing”. So obstinate, so honest. My nothing.

Right now “the truth feels like a movie”, which is a line from “Ramble” by Silverchair”. The truth has felt like a movie b4, but those films are nothing compared to this one. OoOh, mysterious!

- “This is my truth, tell me yours” is the title of a MSP album & the phrase describes one of my current mottos.

- The other day the TV in my kitchen was on a music channel as I was walking through. I overheard a song that got my attention & made me feel things, it sounded familiar. So I stuck around till the end of the video to see what it was. "True faith", New Order

- Recently posted about Elvis Costello. He’s got an album called “My aim is true” which Romo also advised me 2 hear.

- I’ve always loved the MSP song “Judge yr’self” & it says “Find your truth, Face your truth, Speak your truth, be your truth”.

By the way, what I write in this blog may be vague, but it’s all true.
So is this...

I feel so extraordinary
Something's got a hold on me
I've got this feeling I'm in motion
A sudden sense of liberty
I don't care 'cos I'm not there
&I don't care if I'm here tomorrow

Again & again I've taken too much
Of the thing that costs you too much

I used to think that the day would never come
I'd see the light in the shade of the morning sun
My morning sun is the drug that brings me near
To the childhood I lost replaced by fear
I used to think that the day would never come
That my life would depend on the morning sun

When I was a very small boy
Very small boys talked to me
Now that we've grown up together
They're afraid of what they see
That's the price that we all pay
Our valued destiny comes to nothing
I can't tell you where we're going
I guess there's just no way of knowing


I feel so extraordinary
Something's got a hold on me
I've got this feeling I'm in motion
A sudden sense of liberty
The chances are we've gone too far
You took my time & you took my money
Now I feel you've left me standing
In a world that's so demanding

- "True faith", New Order

I didn't find out those lyrics until I googled them just now, yet the song has been in my head 4 days. I love this stuff.

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