Busy as a bee

I'm busy as a bee but enjoying it : )

- "Be a bee", Air. Along with "Sing sang sung" & "Eat my beat", my fav track from their last release "Love 2".
- "Bees", Animal Collective
- "Outro with bees", Neko Case
- "Killer bees", The Stills
- "Muzzle of bees", Wilco

Album:
- "Bee thousand", Guided by voices

Bands:
- The Hives: very 2002, to me. Hit "Hate to say I told you so". Swedish (Scandinavians are soOo attractive, amirite?). Black & white suits, etc.
- The Bees: their "Chicken payback" is quite fun to dance around & be silly to. Apart from that, as far as I remember, I've just heard their cover of "A minha meninha" by Os Mutantes.

As a kid I was rly afraid of them, hornets, wasps, yellowjackets, etc. @ school the kids told urban legends (I hope that's what they were!) of killer bees the size of golf balls. Swarms of these well, killing ppl. I have a kindergarten memory of sitting on a see-saw where there was a bee. But I don't know if it happened to me or someone else. Also being @ a swimming pool & this barefoot lady stepping on a bee. The death of Thomas J (Macauly Culkin) in "My girl" after stepping on a hive & consequently being attacked by the swarm that lived within (he was allergic to bees)...left me DEEPLY DISTURBED. I remember this too, but only the name & a piece of the theme song.



So yeah, not a huge fan of bees. BUT, BUT, BUT...I love honey.

It's like waiting for the ocean to save you from the waves (Oceansize)

Paris, March or April 2008. I was @ indie rock club La Fleche d'Or with a bunch of other Sciences Po Erasmus kids. It had been a fun day. Zsuzi, Hannah & I had checked out the (amazing) Patti Smith exhibit @ La Fondation Cartier then visited the graves of ppl like Julio Cortázar (love) & Man Ray @ the Cimetière du Montparnasse. So @ the club I met a friend of Mathijs from Rumania, Vadim. I thought "Vadim = vampire name!" We were talking about music, he strongly recommended a group called Oceansize, which I'd never heard of before. So naturally I downloaded an album ASAP: "Everyone into position". I like the title as well as the band name.



I (almost) always listen to things ppl recommend however sometimes it can take a while : P I listened to 1/2 the album (which was all that initially downloaded on my Soulseek) @ the time & then just left it incomplete, forgotten. Only recently I "took the trouble" of finding the other 1/2 & giving it a serious listen.

@ times they remind me of Incubus. Maybe Spiritualized? Long songs. Also Finger Eleven (Hi Ksu!), but maybe that's just bc my fav F11 song was "For the ocean". Incidentally, I only heard that album by F11 as well. The song that got my attention from this Oceansize LP is called "You can't keep a bad man down". Here's a live version. I am soOoO busy today. Gotta fly.

The Horrors are CoRs

Current English indie rockers The Horrors seem to adhere to the ~Cult of Richey~ : D [Source: sleepflowers] & I want a Richey (or MSP) shirt too! Somebody make me one...pretty please...with a cherry on top?!

When I asked, Georgia (who is into The Horrors) recommended these songs: "She's the new thing", "Sea within a sea", "Death at the chapel". But honestly they didn't do much for me. However I can't hear the band name without thinking of "Horror with eyeballs" by The Dissociatives, which I do enjoy.

A Maoist intellectual in the music industry (Momus)

His name reminds me of a statue. Also, Rey Momo, a brand of carnival-related products (*). “I was a maoist intellectual” is my fav song from the LP “Tender pervert”. Mao sounds very feline to me therefore I find it a perfect cat name, probably bc it’s similar to meow/miau. Oh yeah, Momo is the name of the cat belonging to Anne, my CouchSurfing host in Dresden : )

Well, I know nothing about this dude except that he did stuff with multi-lingual Japanese pop-princess Kahimi Karie (one of my fav artists), which is how I got to know him. She sang a lot of his tunes ex: Vogue bambini, I am a kitten, Giapponaise a Roma, Good morning world. Honestly I like her versions better bc I prefer her innocent, whispery, girly voice, so eventually I will post those. I bet the two of them dated. & she dated Cornelius before so…not bad, sister, not bad ; )

Anyways. “Right hand heart” has been uploaded before. My other picks are “A Complete History Of Sexual Jealousy (Parts 17-24)”, “The girl with no body” & “Orgasm addict” (originally by the Buzzcocks before, right? Or is that a cover as well?)

The lyrics tell a little story, & @ some points, to me Momus sounds as though he's laughing or smiling as he sings. If you're into politics maybe you'd find them amusing. I'm not but I find them cheeky, cute & original...

I was a Maoist intellectual in the music industry
I always knew that I could seize the world's imagination
And show the possibilities for transformation
I saw a nation in decay, but also a solution: Permanent cultural revolution
Whenever I played my protest songs the press applauded me
Rolled out the red carpet, parted the Red Sea
But the petit bourgeois philistines stayed away
They preferred their artists to have nothing to say

How did I pass my time on earth? Now it can be revealed:
I was a Maoist intellectual in the entertainment field

I showed the people how they lived and told them it was bad
Showed them the insanity inside the bureaucrat
And the archetypes and stereotypes that were my stock in trade
Toppled all the ivory towers that privilege had made
Though I tried to change your mind I never tried your patience
All I tried to do was to point out your exploitation
But the powers that be took this to be a personal insult
And refused to help me build my personality cult

How did I pass my time an earth, what on earth got into me?
I was a Maoist intellectual in the music industry

I left the normal world behind and started living in
A hinterland between dissolution and self discipline
I burned the midnight oil to build my way of seeing
A miner at the coal face of meaning
The rich despised the songs I wrote which told the poor their worth
Told the shy to speak and told the meek to take the earth
But my downfall came from being three things the working classes hated:
Agitated, organised and over-educated

How did I pass my time on earth, how did I bear witness?
As a Maoist intellectual in the entertainment business
And how was I treated in this world and in this industry?
As a Maoist intellectual in a business would be

I became a hotel doorman, I stood there on the doormat
Clutching my forgotten discs in their forgotten format
Trying to hand them out to all the stars who sauntered in
The ones who hadn't been like me, who hadn't lived in vain
I gave up ideology the day I lost my looks
I never found a publisher for my little red books
When I died the energy released by my frustration
Was nearly enough for re-incarnation

But if I could live my life again the last thing that I'd be
Is a Maoist intellectual in the music industry
No, if I could live my life again I think I'd like to be
The man whose job is to stop the men who think like me
Yeah! If l could live my life again that'd be the thing to be
The man who plots the stumbling blocks
In the lives of the likes of me!
- "I was a Maoist intellectual", Momus

(*) but in particular it reminds me of white spray foam & the summer of 1995 in Mar del Plata

This is how we feel

- “If I ever feel better”, Phoenix. Reminds me of Ezequiel bc he was the 1st to recommend the band/album
- “Ringo (I feel like…)”, Custard ***** Check this, it’s very fun & you probably haven’t heard. Nyssa
- “Dr Feelgood”, Motley Crue. Reminds me of Madison bc they covered it a few times I saw them live
- “Dolor + miedo”, Lucas Marti (Dolor más miedo combinan lo que siento) BTW: video directed by Ezequiel
- “I feel a little spaced out (Ando meio desligado)”, Os Mutantes. But the original version in Portuguese is better, I think
- “Once & never again”, Long Blondes (I know how it feels to be your age & feel the world is caving in). Reminds me of Andrew bc we saw them live in Paris XXème
- “The Couples”, Long Blondes (I used to come here to have a good time, but I could feel like this at home). Andrew bc we saw them live in Paris XXème
- “Stellar”, Incubus (How do you do it? Make me feel like you do). Reminds me of Dani
- “I feel fine”, Beatles. Nyssa
- “Feel good inc”, Gorillaz. Tegan
- “Do you feel the same?”, silverchair. Jazzin
- “The way you make me feel”, Michael Jackson. Kelley
- “Electric feel”, MGMT. Agus de Llano
- “Head on”, Pixies (Makes you wanna feel, makes you wanna try, makes you wanna blow the stars from the sky). Esteban

- “How could anybody possibly know how I feel?”, Morrissey
- “No surface all feeling”, Manic Street Preachers (inspired by Richey? Bc he was ; )
- “Feels just like it should”, Jamiroquai
- “Feelin’ so good”, Jennifer Lopez ; )
- “I feel just like a child”, Devendra Banhart
- “Cum on feel the noize", Slade
- “I feel good”, James Brown
- “Me haces sentir”, Turf. Kata
- “La rambla”, Los Perros Salvajes or Los Abuelos de la Nada, dunno (Me siento solo, sin un amor, me siento solo, bajo la rambla estoy)
- “Feeling so strange again”, the Wolfhounds. Richey
- “I feel so”, Boxcar racer
- “Feelings”, Caetano Veloso
- “It feels alright”, Grouper. Eliot
- “Feel it all around”, Washed out. Eliot

Alsooo
- “Joga”, Björk (You don’t have to speak, I feel emotional landscapes)
- “Smells like teen spirit”, Nirvana (I’m worst at what I do best & for this gift I feel blessed)
- “Deeper”, Madonna (All is fair in love she said, think with your heart not with your head). Cali & Tegan, but this song's going to get it’s own post, bc there is a ~story~
- “Comforting lie”, No Doubt (Admission’s so embarrassing, I’m on the verge of tears again). Alyssa Spencer - I wonder where/how she is nowadays
- “President of what?”, Death cab for cutie (Nothing hurts like nothing @ all). Rafael Cosme

Album: “Feels”, Animal Collective
Band: The Feels
Genre: Emo

&&&
“Emotional rescue”, “Mixed emotions”, Rolling stones
“Sweet emotion”, Aerosmith
“Emotion sickness”, silverchair
“Emotion”, Daft punk
“Private emotion”, Ricky Martin ; )
“19th nervous breakdown”, Rolling Stones



Img1: from Nyssa. Img2: Richey's writing, think it came from here

Feliz como hoy siempre / A veces pienso que lo mejor de mi vida está en mis sueños

Last weekend I came across 2 phrases I really liked. Both of them related to Cali’s birthday.

One was spraypainted on the street outside her house. It said “A veces pienso que lo mejor de mi vida está en mis sueños -JS”, which means “Sometimes I think the best things in my life are in my dreams”. I said I liked it & a friend said it was cliché/tacky/something like that. Maybe. But I am full of cliché & tackiness, so it’s not a surprise that I would like it : P I wonder who JS is & how long it was before someone removed the phrase from the pavement. I took a photo out the window but they hadn’t finished writing yet. & only now, a week later, did I realize that whoever wrote it was probably fucked up bc look @ this



I find it kinda cool that I didn’t notice that the word “mejor” was unnecessarily repeated. I just saw the phrase the way it was supposed to be. I literally says “Sometimes I think the best part of best my life is”…FAIL, haha.

You may say I’m a dreamer, but I’m not the only one
- “Imagine”, John Lennon

The other was on a gift given to Cali by Jonah of Spring Lizard. As far as I saw/recall, it’s a very old fashioned telegram. & it reads “Feliz como hoy siempre”, which means “Happy like today always”.

I’ve felt that many times. But it’s more like “(I wanna be) Happy like now always”. Young always. I’ve felt it while sitting in cafés (*) or walking around with pals in the summertime, but mostly during epic evenings also with friends, sharing drinks, dancing, going to parties, concerts. Car or taxi rides to far away, unknown parts of the city, sometimes in the company of cute boys. Laughter, photos, etc.

If everything could ever feel this real forever
If anything could ever be this good again
- “Everlong”, Foo Fighters

Yeah…times like that, I just think/feel “I wish I always felt this way, that time would freeze here, that we could always be young & everything could stay this fun/gr8/etc”. It’s a nice feeling, I think but also sad. Bc that’s not how it is.

(*) The 1st time I recall hacing this distinct experience was a Friday in late 2003, drinking red wine @ El Gato Negro with María Lanata. Then we walked along Av. Corrientes before going to her house. Later that night Pool & I went to see Austral, a local indie group that played britishpop, @ El Especial.

Let the door swing

I have an Animal Collective poster on my PiNK bedroom door XD I got it after their gig @ l'Alhambra in Paris, which I attended by myself. I rode a vélib (bike) there. Man, did I love cycling in Paris. But more about that another time. The point is that AC live is amazing. Esteban compares their concerts to a tribal rave. It is a spiritual thing, really. Anyways, after the show, I went to the garderobe (cloakroom) to pick up my helmet & stuff & saw these posters all over the place. So I asked the dude behind the counter if I could have one, & he was like “Yeah, sure, take it”. EPIC, EPIC WIN. Then I went to this party @ La Cité Universitaire & was super careful so it would remain in the best conditions possible. It became the sole decoration on my bedroom wall during my days in the 19th arrondissement. & now it’s the 1st thing to hang on my door ever since I painted it (yes!) in the summer of 2004.

“The door”, Silverchair
“Door to the river”, “Doors closing slowly”, Manic Street Preachers
“You should never have opened that door”, Ramones
“Ignore that door”, Richard Hell & the Voidoids
“Don’t leave me”, Blink 182 (I said, "don't let your future be destroyed by my past", she said, "Don't let my door hit your ass"…Man, did I love this album back in the day)

Band: The Doors

PS: On my wall, among others you can find Cibo Matto, Andy Warhol, Dolores Fonzi, Paris Hilton, Fab Moretti, the Osbournes, Sanrio's Twin Stars & 90s Nickelodeon's Alex Mack

Friday Dream Odyssey

All day I had nausea & a splitting headache so I spent 90% of it in bed, sleeping. @ times like this, occasionally reality & dreamworld blend to the point where when it comes 2 some things, I’m not sure whether they happened or I dreamt them. Bc some things I dream about are similar 2 circumstances from recent days or are things that could easily happen in real life, ex: a trip to Freddo (ice cream parlor), a conversations w/ my mom about visiting the Easy Home Center to buy a certain household appliance.

Voilà some highlights from today's •*¨*•.Dream Odyssey•*¨*•.

- Walking around Palermo Hollywood but everything was closed bc it was early. I was looking for Roho, a hipster hair salon, which is actually not in this part of Buenos Aires. I passed Exiles Records & Abunda, which closed down years ago.



- My mother making fun of the architecture of buildings such as the Pentagon, the Unicenter shopping mall & the ACA (Automóvil Club Argentino) sede on Libertador & Tagle.

- @ an amusement park, waiting in line 2 buy tokens. Running into RR & JB in said line. It was 6pm, the park was only open until 8 or 10.

- “Melissa” by the Allman brothers band

- The girls of America's Next Top Model Cycle 1 walking down a street in my neighborhood. I took note of Elyse Sewell, the coolest contestant, & thought "She was totally the bitch of the cycle". But she was not really. She was the brains & she knew it (pretentiousss). Kata dug her. Fun fact: Sewell dated Martin Crandall of The Shins until January 2008, when he allegedly assaulted her in a Sacramento hotel. Source



- Someone (I know who, but I ain't saying : ) accusing me of tearing 3 plush animals so that the stuffing was coming out of their ears, then putting them in a fridge. Me bursting into tears as a result of the accusation. All this in front of 2 members of one of the most hyped-up & successful indie bands in Argentina. Me not giving a fuck.

- Watching an AOL video from the 70s, like when in LOST they watch the Dharma Initiative Orientation videos from the 70s with Dr Chang. This had a lady playing the piano & another one giving the Part 1 course. She looked like Martha, my instructor from Silva Mind Control Method. But I think her name was Micha Onni. Like my friend Micha Onni from YES+. There was no AOL in the 70s yet, though.

- Riding a bus home from someplace far, needing 2 switch buses, asking the driver for advice on where to get off & what other bus to take, talking about making the correspondence around the Facultad de Ciencias Económicas, Córdoba & Paraguay (2 streets that don’t meet in real life), the 140 (have I ever taken this bus IRL?), Córdoba & Pueyrredón (this does exist IRL), a lot of street names & numbers

Hora de no ver ("Glass", Incubus)

If I had a dime for every time you walked away,
I could afford to not give a shit
and buy a drink and drown the day
But your pockets, they are empty,
yeah, and mine are times two
So why not make an about face,
and accept the love I send to you?

You're never gonna be content if you don't try
try to see outside your line.
There you go, you did it again!
You act as if there's blinders on your eyes

Should I apologize if what I say burns your ears and stains your eyes?
Oh, did I crack your shell?
When it falls away, you'll see we exist as well

Like a bottle with the cork stuck,
your true ingredients trapped up inside.
Through the cloudy glass we catch a glimpse of you,
I guess the hard shell represents your pride.
Oh, if only it could be different
we could uncover the you you deny.
Between two, a small discrepancy,
one complicates and one simplifies.

TAKE THOSE FUCKING BLINDERS OFF YOUR EYES

So if I had a dime for every time you walked away,
you could bet your bottom dollar that
I'd be filthy rich by noon today
- "Glass", Incubus

This song (& band) was very important in my life circa 2001-2002, a period during which I was lucky enough to see them in concet twice. My 4 fav bands were silverchair, Incubus, Skulker & Foo Fighters. But this post is about "Glass", which I recently realized is (again) really relevant to certain current things & goings-on. Although not necessarily the same way it was the 1st time around. I really need to do an Incubus post.

Also I think from now on instead of providing mp3s to download I'll just post YouTube links. Quicker, easier. Most of the songs are on there anyways. In some cases (namely when the song is playing to videos made by random people) it's best to disregard the imagery part : P You be the judge of that, but know that -unless otherwise specified-, I only endorse the musical content.

Smile empty soul

Overblown things can be felt in the middle of the night (around 3am, usually)



Oh and I don't have a soul to save,
Yes and I sin every single day
- “We never change”, Coldplay

Heaven help me for the way I am
Save me from these evil deeds before I get them done
- “Criminal”, Fiona Apple

- “Empty souls”, Manic Street Preachers
- “The man who sailed around his soul”, XTC
- “Sold my soul”, Gare du Nord
- “Mi espiritu se fue”, Pescado Rabioso (epic lyrics, deserving of their own post)
- “Lost souls forever”, Kasabian
- “Spirit they’ve vanished”, Animal Collective

Band: Smile Empty Soul (shitty band, cool name)

I could be... (Sombras y Jueves Jodido)

Both of these me hacen doler el esternón, as Paco would say. That means they make my sternum hurt, & it's a good thing. I think only music can do it. I've been meaning to write about this feeling. Among sooo much other stuff.

"Shadows" is one of my fav tunes everrr by Rufus Wainwright, from my fav album of his: "Poses" (his 2nd). I read somewhere that the song has a funky feel, but I wouldn't know since I'm shit when it comes 2 classifications. This is also one of my fav Rufus pix.

"Las sombras han ganado" is one of my 2 fav tracks from Banda de Turistas' debut "Mágico corazón radiofónico". A young (very young, like super early 20s) indie sensation, they were the next big thing in 2008 or so. Their 2nd album came out last year but I prefer the 1st.

On another note, my Thursday was Full of Fail. Jueves Jodido. I felt kinda "Tuna in the brine" by Silverchair. But essentially I need to cut the "Just" by Radiohead crap ASAP. It's, like, soOoOo passé.

Oh wait, I had this dream where I got on the 95 bus. MM (who is really pretty & has nice, long hair) was there & she got offended bc I didn't say hello. Then she patted me on the head & was like "I intimidate you, don't I? Awww, that's so cute". Then AR was on the bus too & I thought "O FUX" bc I used 2 like him but nowadays he's pretty annoying & unfriendly 2 run in2. I guess seeing him made me nervous bc I dropped this cardboard box I was holding. The dream also involved a swamp, Pool, Cande Muro & a birthday. Today was Silvana Moreno's btw XD HAPPY HAPPY!!!

Who will keep
Keep me in this evening
Even though
They are not here with me

I could be a great star
Still I'm far from happy

Finally
Feel the world around me
Fighting through
Fighting through the whiskey

Out of these shadows
Comes the light
Shadows comes the light

You will keep
Keep me in this evening
Even though
You are not here with me

I could be...
- "Shadows", Rufus Wainwright



Con el despertar amargo
vuelvo a sentir el piso
siempre busqué el aire
y nunca encontré
a nadie

Dada tu inquietud amable
pensé en algo brillante:
que puedas ser rentable
y que nadie te acompañe
hasta mí

Tanto tiempo ahí sentado
pensando que podría estar
pasando

Mejor me hubiese dedicado
a las sombras o a al
ganado
Y el ganado preferí
- "Las sombras han ganado", Banda de Turistas

Expressions: You're a stone fox, That's hot

A couple of you have asked, urbandictionary.com answers

Stone fox
1. One who is so awesome that not only are they foxy, they are also solid. The most perfect compliment for any lady you gentlemen have your eye on.
Whispering: You're a stone fox.
2. The ultimate hot guy!!!'
Omg did you see Steve the other day..he is SUCH a stone fox!

Personally, I 1st heard the expression in Sofia Coppola's film "The Virgin Suicides", when Trip Fontaine (Josh Hartnett) says it to Lux Lisbon (Kirsten Dunst). Apparently it was 70s slang? I dig it. But I use it for girls, too.

Another expression I enjoy: That's hot, made famous by Paris Hilton. Haters to the left, I love her XD

"Meeting Paris Hilton", Cansei de Ser Sexy

Are you taking over or are you taking orders? (La casa tomada, In The Jungle, Rivoteen dreams, etc)

"House Taken Over" (Casa tomada) is a 1944 short story by Argentine writer Julio Cortázar. It was originally published in Los anales de Buenos Aires, a literary magazine edited by Jorge Luis Borges, but later added to his book Bestiario.

It tells the story of an aging brother and sister living together in their ancestral home which is being "taken over" by unknown entities. It starts in a realist manner and it slowly introduces a scene in which natural laws are distorted. The mystery that revolves around what those entities can be interpreted in several ways, and this also makes the genre of the story vary (fantastic, psychological, etc.).

Among the resources that are frequent in Cortázar's story, graphic signs (such as parenthesis) are used to reflect censorship.

The writer based the house on one located in the city of Chivilcoy, which can still be found in the streets Suipacha and Necochea. Source

- “Please leave”, “Leaving home”, & “Military strongmen”, Jebediah (When you're around, you just get me down, I'm better off without you)
- “Get off of my cloud”, Rolling Stones
- “Get gone”, Fiona Apple
- “In every dreamhome a heartache”, Roxy Music (Unrelated, but I've always dug the line Inflatable doll, I blew up your body...but you blew my MIND & the way Bryan Ferry sings it)
- “There’s no home for you here”, White Stripes
- “At home he’s a tourist”, Gang of Four (Richeeeh ♥ liked this one)
- "You Can't Move Into My House", Frenzal Rhomb (Get fucked you fucking fuckwit, you can't move into my house…they rly don’t beat around the bush, do they?)

Richey, for one, saysss...

On Tuesday “In the Jungle” by The Vines came on my iPod when Shuffle was on. Loves it. I always forget about The Vines. Made me wanna read up on the band & what became of them after “Highly evolved”. Last I heard, Craig Nicholls had been hospitalized for…what was it? Asperger’s & Tourettes? Maybe. I don’t know much about the Vines apart from the fact that Craig liked McDonalds, getting high, & that his cheeks were possibly chubbier than mine : P

Last night I dreamt that RR was taking Rivotril (Clonazepam), the most popular legal drug in Argentina. I read someone on FB who had coined the term Rivoteen. I dig portmanteau words. Anyways I was really surprised he would admit this, since he’s so rock & roll. Or…something. I think NG was there @ the time. & a bunch of those ppl. In the dream there was also a lady chasing me trying 2 cut my hair (NO, BITCH!) & a special Satsang @ someone’s house, faaar far away (Belu, possibly?) But some ex classm8s of mine from Uni were there, such as Chufi, Angie, Lucia. So was Martin LBT. I was like “Hey Martin & Chufi, you probably know each other from Pacha, LOLZ”. I took a photo of the three girls. Some new YES+ teachers were there as well: Lu Peña, Facu, Mechi. & there was cake. I woke up like WHEREZ THA CAKE?! Typical.

The Forever 27 Club, Mate, Nos da

"The statistical anomaly of some of our greatest musicians dying at the age of 27 has created mystery and intrigue. One thing is for sure: this incredible group of people changed the world"

The Forever 27 Club

A tribute to Jimi Hendrix, Janis Joplin, Kurt Cobain, Jim Morrisson, Brian Jones...Richey Edwards is also mentioned bc he was 27 when he vanished.
-

I was talking about this w/ a friend today while we drank mate in a park. MATE! Ha, I never drink mate. It's so Argentine. I tried to get into it during my last year of high school while studying. I had a really cool turquoise thermos. That was probably my favorite part of the whole business. & if you don't know what mate is...

The whole mate drinking thing is like a ritual, actually, but I'm too lazy to explain. Big surprise. Then again, I'm not the person to talk about mate as I don't even drink it. SoOoO...Goodnight nos da...
HEY MANIXFANS! I can't think the word Goodnight or say it without hearing "nos da" in my head immediately afterwards. Um...I can say, in all certainty, that It's Nicky Wire's Fault!
HEY NON MANIXFANS! I was going to explain, but it's one of those things where if you don't like the band, you won't care : P Normally I would explain regardless of this, but again I'm too lazy/tired. BYEBYE!

Sólo sé que no soy yo

Justo que pensaba en vos, nena, caí muerto
¿Qué le dio al pequeño dios
del centro gris del abismo?
Sólo sé que no soy yo a quien duerme
Sólo sé que no soy yo a quien duerme

Dime nena, ¿Adónde ves ahora
algo en mí que no detestes?
Qué sólo y triste voy a estar en este cementerio
Qué calor hará sin vos en verano

- "Cementerio club", Pescado Rabioso


Me @ el Cementerio de la Chacarita, March 2004.

I let the beast in too soon (Fiona Apple)

One of my fav artists during high school, I listened to her 1st two albums very often. Her debut LP was in my discman when I was assaulted in 2000. The song "Carrion", which I really like, was playing. She became famous in 1997 with the hit "Criminal" & -if I'm not mistaken- was classified as angsty chick music together with others such as Tori Amos (like), PJ Harvey (like. Also, many have said I look like her, YAY!), Alanis Morrissette (who I began to h8 with the release of Supposed former infatuation junkie), Sarah McLaughlin (hit: "Adia"), umm...Ani Difranco & Liz Phair (maybe the angriest of them all, amirite?) & I dunno, all those women who played the Lilith Fair festival.

The song I have chosen today is the 1st single off her 2nd album. The title of said LP is a poem which I used to know by heart, but now I only remember the first line. When the Pawn Hits the Conflicts He Thinks Like a King, What He Knows Throws the Blows When He Goes to the Fight, And He’ll Win the Whole Thing ’Fore He Enters the Ring, There’s No Body To Batter When Your Mind Is Your Might, So When You Go Solo You Hold Your Own Hand, And Remember That Depth Is the Greatest of Heights, And If You Know Where You Stand, Then You'll Know Where To Land, And If You Fall It Won’t Matter, Cuz You'll Know That You’re Right. I wonder if it's the longest album title ever.

I let the beast in too soon, I don't know how to live
Without my hand on his throat; I fight him always & still
Oh darling, it's so sweet, you think you know how crazy
How crazy I am
You say you don't spook easy, you won't go, but I know
And I pray that you will
Fast as you can, baby, run - free yourself of me
Fast as you can

I may be soft in your palm but I'll soon grow
Hungry for a fight, and I will not let you win
My pretty mouth will frame the phrases that will
Disprove your faith in man
So if you catch me trying to find my way into your
Heart from under your skin
Fast as you can, baby scratch me out, free yourself
Fast as you can

Sometimes my mind don't shake and shift
But most of the time, it does
And I get to the place where I'm begging for a lift
Or I'll drown in the wonders and the was
And I'll be your girl, if you say it's a gift
And you give me some more of your drugs
Yeah, I'll be your pet, if you just tell me it's a gift
'cause I'm tired of whys, choking on whys,
Just need a little because, because

I let the beast in and then;
I even tried forgiving him, but it's too soon
So I'll fight again, again, again, again, again.
And for a little while more, I'll soar the
Uneven wind, complain and blame
The sterile land
But if you're getting any bright ideas, quiet dear
I'm blooming within

Fast as you can, baby wait watch me, I'll be out
Fast as I can, maybe late but at least about
Fast as you can leave me, let this thing
Run its route
Fast as you can
- "Fast as you can", Fiona Apple

Other recommended songs (in no order): The way things are, Never is a promise (My favorite lyrics, possibly), Shadowboxer, Carrion, Across the universe (cover. Nice vid, too), Get gone, Extraordinary machine, A better version of me

El Fabuloso Destino de Amélie Poulain

I'm gonna post some film reviews I did for a couple of courses I took during Uni. They're en Español ; ) This is the very last one, from a class where we were allowed to choose what we reviewed. Here it is, my final...a paper on Amélie, one of my fav films. I saw it for the 1st time in Paris in 2001 with my cousin Nicolas, no subtitles. He's a sensitive dude so it's also one of his fav films. He'd just bought a copy @ the FNAC on Champs-Elysées. I think we also bought tickets to Incubus au Zénith that day. Anyways, I didn't know French thaaat well @ the time -although it's arguable whether I know French thaaat well nowadays- but I understod the gist of the story, & I liked. Later it came out in cinemas here; I recall going to see it @ the Patio Bullrich with Ceci D & Agus V when it was still summertime.

---

El Fabuloso Destino de Amélie Poulain
“La suerte es como el Tour de France. Estás esperando y de golpe pasa como una ráfaga”.
“Amélie” (Comedia, romántica, drama. Dir: Jean-Pierre Jeunet, Francia, 2001)

Reventar las burbujitas de los embalajes de plástico; sonarse los nudillos; lustrar sus zapatos. Las marcas de la almohada en la cara, que se arrugue la yema de los dedos en la bañadera, la frase “bendito sea el fruto de tu vientre”. De esta forma original y simpática presentar Jean-Pierre Jeunet a los personajes en Amélie: con una breve enumeración de sus gustos y disgustos específicos. Hasta se menciona que cierto gato ama oír cuando les leen historias a los niños. Tanto por su forma como por su contenido, la película enfatiza los detalles e invita a redescubrir el encanto de lo cotidiano. Amélie (Audrey Tautou) vive una infancia excepcionalmente solitaria. Su hogar era tan denso que la llevó a refugiarse en un mundo interno de fantasía y ensueño y además fue causa de las tendencias suicidas de su único amigo, un pececito dorado. Este relato la encuentra a los 23 años, sin amor pero disfrutando de los pequeños placeres: hundir la mano en una bolsa llena de semillas, quebrar la superficie de la crème brûlée con una cuchara y tirar piedritas al canal de St. Martin. En una sala de cine repleta, se vuelve hacia la cámara y confiesa pícaramente que durante la función, adora darse vuelta y espiar los rostros de los espectadores. Tautou había comenzado a actuar en 1996 pero recién tras su excelente interpretación en este filme obtuvo reconocimiento a nivel mundial y desde entonces, ha jugado importantes roles en producciones francesas y extranjeras (El Código Da Vinci).

Quizás el París que se ve intente reflejar la imagen que tiene Amélie de su ciudad. Lo cierto es que se corresponde menos con la realidad y más con la mente de una chica ingenua, dulce, aniñada, sensible e imaginativa. Hubo críticas por esta representación totalmente ficticia de La Ciudad Luz, ordenada, impecable y segura y además porque soslaya el multiculturalismo, las diferencias sociales, los conflictos y el ajetreo general de la ciudad. Sin embargo esta versión de París tiene otras características llamativas. Se remarca por ejemplo un cuidado especial en preservarla de la occidentalización (el Inglés no aparece) y globalización. Podría decirse que también se desliga de los tiempos actuales. Por los modos y costumbres de los personajes, por la ausencia de elementos típicos de la actualidad -entre otros: tecnología de avanzada (no se ven PCs, CDs ni celulares), supermercados, fast food, shoppings, rock & roll- y porque la mayoría del material televisivo está en blanco y negro, podría suponerse que la historia ocurre en los años 30 ó 40. Sin embargo la muerte de Lady Di señala que tiene lugar en 1997.

De pronto la suerte de la joven cambia. Descubre tener una vocación oculta que trae abundante felicidad a quienes la rodean. Se trata de seres bastante particulares, igual que ella. Una tabaquera hipocondriaca, un anciano que pinta el mismo cuadro todos los años hace dos décadas, un muchacho empleado de un sex shop y un tren fantasma, un coleccionista de fotos despedazadas, una ex gimnasta a caballo y un hombre con demasiado afecto por su gnomo de jardín, entre otros.

Gracias a la cinematografía de Bruno Delbonnel, da la sensación que todo lo visto en pantalla resplandece de belleza. Puede inferirse el uso de filtros color miel que, como las hojas de un viejo libro, remiten a otras épocas. El mismo tono predomina en muchas locaciones del filme, igual que el rojo y el verde. Un clima casi de cuento infantil resultan del esquema cromático deliberado sumado a algunos otros elementos tales como la amplificación de los efectos sonoros; el estilo caricaturesco de los personajes (típico en Jeunet); los efectos especiales (Amélie se disuelve, hay visión rayos x), la capacidad de objetos inanimados de moverse y hablar. Por otro lado existe un cuidado meticuloso respecto de los planos; muchos de ellos podrían ser fotografías artísticas.

La nueva vocación de Amélie le dio también alegría y satisfacción a nivel personal, y en sus andanzas fue haciendo nuevos amigos. No obstante, por el temor y la incertidumbre, continúa experimentando sola el mundo, se siente incompleta y a veces insignificante. Hasta que un día, encuentra a Nino...

Amélie es una comedia romántica acerca de la vida, las relaciones, los sentimientos, la casualidad, la fantasía y las cosas simples. Su protagonista fresca y poco convencional junto a los demás personajes refuerzan el paradigma del individualismo y el ser uno mismo. Es una historia optimista y risueña que tuvo un gran éxito no sólo en Francia sino en todo el mundo. "Todos necesitan una historia positiva. Cada ser humano tiene algo bueno adentro. Es poco común en el cine hablar de las cosas buenas. Es más fácil y está más de moda hablar de violencia y armas", opina el director. En definitiva, Amélie es ideal para quienes creen o desean creer que aún hay algo de magia en el mundo. Y dado su éxito, no son pocos.

---



See this? Do you remember what happens to Amélie after this sucession of images? If you don't know, I'll tell you, & don't worry, the movie won't be spoiled. She's watching Nino, right? But she's too afraid to talk to him. & then she looks down & turns into a puddle of water on the floor. It's brilliant. I have felt EXACTLY like this...so...many...times. SIGH...BOYS.

"Dead from the waist down", Catatonia

Another reason I ♥ Richey Manics: his apathy towards SEX. Although for someone with such jaded views towards fucking, he sure did a lot of it! That's what the legend says, anyhow. Yknow...groupies etc. He used to get the most (& obviously the battiest, LOL) female fans fawning over him.

So...hypocrisy? Probably. As Georgia said, "MANICS ARE THE MOST HYPOCRITICAL BAND IN EXISTENCE. No really, they are : P" To which I replied "I love that, god. Reminds me of "The kids are alright", the Who movie, where they show an interview with...I think it's Keith Moon? Or Pete Townshend...anyways one of the band members. & he's all dead serious saying "No, we never break equipment onstage, that's a lie" then they cut to some live footage of the band like...COMPLETELY DESTROYING GUITARS & DRUMKITS".

It's true I'm drowning in a jar of vinegar; Miss Europa Disco Dancer & iPod shuffle love

@ my house word has it that vinegar helps burn fat. So some ppl are putting it on everything. I used to put vinegar -regular or balsamic- on salad but right now I’m not digging either one. My favorite condiments of the moment, what I put on everything, are ginger & curry. I guess you could say soy sauce & sweetener too, but I’ve always liked those.

-

On another note, isn’t it the best when iPod shuffle picks the best songs? Either the best 1st song to start with right after you turn it on & start whatever you’re gonna do, or an excellent succession in general. It makes me feel like life is smiling @ me. I guess it’s not the same 4 this 2 happen when you have 180gb of memory as it is when you only have 2gb. I’ve got 8gb –btw I don’t know what possessed me 2 think that was enough- & I feel especially lucky when it happens. Once I was talking 2 this girl & I said part of my good day had been that iPod had picked a rly awesome song selection 4 me while @ the gym. She was like “You can choose the songs you wanna listen 2, you know?” I should have replied “You are dull & clearly have no magic in your life, you know?” LOSER. Jesus!

Well, today I stepped out the front door into the sunshine & the first song iPod Shuffle picked for me was “Miss Europa Disco Dancer” by MSP which admittedly is quite LOLZ-y but my song of the moment. ♫ It's poetry, sheer poetry, the way you destroy your beauty... ♫

It makes me think of Nicky Wire in a tiara. There are many photos of that but I’m too lazy to look. I started wishing I had MSP fan friends in real life to make a video of us dancing in tiaras, twirling around holding tulles, with a disco ball overhead & this song playing in the background.

Next to come on was “Miss you love” by silverchair & then “Rock classics Vol I” by Rinocerose. Not bad @ all. & thenI arrived where I was going.

The image in this post was made by Nyssa’s boyfriend-bestfriend Dan, who I used to talk to sometimes too, & who was a stone fox as well.

“The child is gone”, Fiona Apple (Gorillaz, Marillion)

Am I tripping or have the Gorillaz grown up? It would make sense, wouldn’t it? They did appear on the scene 9 years ago, after all. Must admit that although I’ve always liked what they do & dug their singles, I haven’t followed their career closely enough to have noticed whether they were entering adulthood or not. But the other day I downloaded their new LP “Plastic beach” (after hearing good things from Georgia & Martin LBT) & happened to see this new photo



I thought “OMFG THEY’VE GROWN UP” bc they just seemed so much taller than I remembered. Are they, or am I spazzing? In the memory I had of them, 2-D wasn’t so LONG. Noodle was also stouter. Btw did you know who is behind the voice of Noodle? Miho Hatori, formely of Cibo Matto! Anyways, the change I am talking about is mostly in 2-D & Noodle. I haven’t rly investigated this or anything but I did come across the following photo from the beginning of the band where 2-d’s face seems clearer, younger, more fresh & innocent than in the “new” one…imo. I dunno.


To be honest when I saw the new photo it was yet another reminder of the fact that so many years have gone by & I was like “O FUX”. Why do cartoon bands have 2 grow up, too?! DNW D : I want movies/TV/cartoons/etc 2 support evasion/fantasy, not emulate, reproduce & reflect reality, PLZ! Where’s my ideal fantasy world in which nobody ever ages?! I protest! I demand 2 speak 2 the person in charge!

Err…yeah so I’ve been listening 2 the new Gorillaz LP. & another Prog Rock album called “Misplaced Childhood” by Marillion…check the cover


Needless to say, with a cover like that, it was really impossible 4 me not 2 listen. The name Marillion reminds me of the word Papillion which is butterfly in French. & the Parisian metro station Mabillion...SIGH, MEMORIEZ.

Honey help me out of this mess
I'm a stranger to myself
But don't reach for me, I'm too far away
I don't wanna talk ''cause there's nothing left to say
So my
Darling, give me your absence tonight
Take all of your sympathy and leave it outside
''cause there's no kind of loving that can make this all right
I'm trying to find a place I belong
And I suddenly feel like a different person
From the roots of my soul come a gentle coercion
And I ran my hand over a strange inversion
As the darkness turns into the dawn
The child is gone
- “The child is gone”, Fiona Apple


Other albums I’m listening to @ the moment
- 69 canciones de amor (pero otras)
- Girls – Album
- Jonathan Richman – Jonthan ¡Te vas a emocionar!, Her mystery not of high heels & eyeshadow (Getting ready 4 his upcoming visit 2 BA, ow yeah)
- Nicky Wire - I killed the zeitgeist (At times I think it’s not really very good but..IT’S NICKY WIRE & some of the songs stick in my head a lot)
- Catatonia & Kenickie – A lot of albums, may have downloaded their entire discographies. Related post coming in the near future

"Candy says", The Velvet Underground (II)

Some things ppl have said to me over the past week & that have stuck in my head

""Chris you are lovely & you transmit peace"
"Your energy is very nice, you transmit a lot of peace"

"[Some things you say] make my stomach churn"

"I think you think too much"

It all makes perfect sense considering I'm a Gemini. Polar opposites, excessive rationality.

Life is crazy, candy baby...

If you enter "candy" into the Google Image search, this lady is the 1st to appear. Dunno who she is.

But back in the day (1999-2000) I really liked Mandy Moore's song & video "Candy". I thought she was a stone fox, too. My only complaint: they should be drinking milkshakes @ the diner. Or @ least soda. Something with color. Who goes to a diner & orders water? I mean...srsly.

Beating hearts baby

Honey, loving you is the greatest thing
I get to be myself and I get to sing
I get to play at being irresponsible
I come home late at night and I love your soul
I never forget you in my prayers
I never have a bad thing to report

You're my picture on the wall
You're my vision in the hall
You're the one I'm talking to
When I get in from my work
You are my girl, and you don't even know it
I am living out the life of a poet
I am the jester in the ancient court
You're the funny little frog in my throat

My eye sight's fading, my hearing's dim
I can't get insured for the state I'm in
I'm a danger to myself I've been starting fights
At the party at the club on a Saturday night
But I don't get disapproving from my girl
She gets the all highlights wrapped in pearls

I had a conversation with you at night
It's a little one sided but that's all right
I tell you in the kitchen about my day
You sit on the bed in the dark, changing places
With the ghost that was there before you came
You've come to save my life again

I don't dare to touch your hand
I don't dare to think of you
In a physical way
And I don't know how you smell
You are the cover of my magazine
You're my fashion tip, a living museum
I'd pay to visit you on rainy Sundays
I'll maybe tell you all about it someday

- "Funny little frog", Belle & Sebastian

Jam your brain with broken heroes

Find your faith in your security
All broken up at seventeen
Jam your brain with broken heroes
Love your masks & adore your failures
- "Stay beautiful", Manic Street Preachers

London Levi: Street preacher (4real) & Other Top Models

London Levi was a contestant on America's Next Top Model Cycle 12. She's from Texas & she's a Street Preacher. As in... she preaches...on the street...about God & Jesus. To whomever will listen. Definitely one of the sweetest, nicest & coolest girls that season. I wrote her on MySpace & sent the song & lyrics to "Awaiting on you all" by George Harrison since it's about God & stuff. See a bit:

You don't need no passport
& you don't need no visas
You don't need to designate or to emigrate
Before you can see Jesus
If you open up your heart
You'll see hes right there
Always was & will be
He'll relieve you of your cares

By chanting the names of the Lord & you'll be free
The Lord is awaiting on you all to awaken and see

She really liked it : )

& III really like that with the internet & things like Facebook/MySpace you can interact with ppl you've seen on TV or in the media...artists, authors, etc. For example, I've also written a few Australia's Next Top Model girls. To Alamela Rowan about my cat's operation since she was an assistant to an animal surgeon for many years. I emailed Mikarla Hussey some Hello Kitty stuff since she loves HK. & I talked to Samantha Downie about bunnies when hers died, bc I also had a bunny once, & it died.

"London bridge", Fergie
"P 25 London", Black Crowes

"London's burning", The Clash

"Panic", The Smiths (Panic on the streets of London)

"London calling", The Clash

"London, London", Devendra Banhart & Cibelle

"Last train to London", ELO

"London 1888", Momus

"London boys", T-Rex

"London town", Donovan

More manics_lolz on Monday

This was actually a real caption from some UK magazine...I love the stuff they come up with



Macros amuse me



Ugh Nicky Wire you were s0 h0t, plz. Nicky Wire lights my ~fire~

LJ icons by Lady Kelley Wise: Richey, Nicky, Nicky hugging Richey, Richey



All of these -I think- are from manics_lolz, I didn't make any! If you're viewing this via Facebook, check the original post to see the following 2 images as they're meant to be seen...animated .gifs : ]



"Hole-in-one!"



Celebrating in a Pete Doherty hat...I think of RiCHEY every time I see someone wearing one, hah

69 (other) love songs

2009 marked 10 years since the Magnetic Fields’ triple album “69 love songs” was released. To pay homage, Inrockuptibles magazine published a list of its favorite 69 tunes about ~love~. Silvana Moreno didn’t approve so she invited a panel of EXPERTS (among them, ME : ) to propose some of their picks. Here’s the result.



My contributions: “The art teacher” by Rufus Wainwright & “La la love” by The Pixies. After listening to the rest in depth I will post what my other favs are. Also in the near future the compilation will be available 4 download!

Zoloft

Gimme that z, o-l-o-f-t
Gimme a grip, make me love me
Suckin' 'em down, I'm happy man
Can feel it inside, makin' me smile

...realize that the sky's not made of gold
don't disguise the nature of your soul

Gimme that z, o-l-o-f-t
No longer pissed & you don't bother me
I'm makin' it through, I'm givin' my all
When base are loaded, I'm whacking the ball

...don't suck the mind, don't drain the source
the path of life's not so easy to course, buddy

- "Zoloft", Ween



The name makes me think of zombies or mummies dancing with their arms spread out like scarecrows. This is one of my fav songs by Ween, which is Ezequiel's fav band. 1st he copied "The Mollusk" 4 me some years ago & it didn't do much 4 me. But then came the rest of the discography & I found I enjoyed many songs such as Seconds, Koko, LMLYP, Happy colored marbles & The Stallion Pt 3 (I do declare I can float in the air). Still don't really like The Mollusk though. As 4 Zoloft...maybe I've never taken a high enough dosage but I've never felt it (or any psychotropic) made me ~soOoO~ happy or anything. Am kinda curious how that would feel.

Progressive rock: Yes, etc

So a while ago I downloaded a few albums from the 1st Progressive Rock post on Romo's Taringa page.



- "Trilogy", Emerson, Lake & Palmer -- bc I like the name of the band
- "Thick As A Brick", Jethro Tull -- bc I'd only heard the LP Aqualung & wanted 2 hear more
- "Red", King Crimson -- bc the band worked with producer David Bottril who did Silverchair's "Diorama"
- "The Sky Moves Sideways", Porcupine Tree -- bc Jazzin & Tute were often listening 2 this group
- "Close To The Edge", Yes -- bc I'd heard a bunch of loose songs by them & really dug

Gotta admit I'm pretty shit when it comes to musical genres/classifications so I wasn't/am still not quite sure what Progressive rock is. Alas my favorite songs out of the lot are

- "The sheriff", Emerson, Lake & Palmer
- "One more red nightmare", King Crimson -- makes a nice combination w/ "Red sleeping beauty" by Mccarthy, imo : )
- "Close to the edge", Yes

Speaking of which...often when reading books I underline stuff that I like then copy it somewhere or type it up, especially if it's something I've borrowed. Well, a couple of years LokarX had lent me this book about punk rock, I think more specifically about the Clash, & among other stuff I copied these

"...post-hippie teenagers still sitting cross-legged on the floor as though they were watching Yes..."

"A declining post-colonial nation in a state of terminal identity confusion"

So when Yes is concerned, I always recall that 1st quote, & think of long haired kids sitting indian style wearing bell-bottoms, headbands & stuff like that. It's a nice image : )

Rollercoasters, life philosophies & the elephant in the room

This past week has been a RoLLeRcOasTeR, not unlike the one James & Richey Manic are riding in this photo. @ times like these, I try to remember that whatever happens is meant to happen. I really like what Dvorahji (aka “The Shut Up Guru”. She's called that bc she claims SHUT UP is "an ancient mantra for complete happiness" :) has to say on the matter. Some excerpts from the Q&A on her website.

Q: How come I'm always in the wrong place at the wrong time?
A: The only thing that's in the wrong place at the wrong time is your thinking. It's impossible to be in the wrong place at the wrong time. I know you've heard all this nonsense about sabotaging yourself, not listening to yourself, not being intuitive enough etc., and yada, yada, yada...but it's ridiculous. I want you to know that What Is does not make mistakes. There are no slip-ups.
You are exactly where you could “ONLY BE.” So, please do not drive yourself crazy with this lament, “If only I wouldn't have been there, if only I wouldn't have done that.” Drop it!!! It could not have been different. Time to learn a different mantra and say, “If it could be different, it would be different!”

Q: I have no discipline, how will I ever get anywhere?
A: Have you ever heard the expression, “You are not the doer?” I actually think it's an unfortunate expression, because it's so confusing. It really doesn't make any sense at all. You do, after all, “appear” to be the doer, even though all the scriptures and saints say otherwise. Why even the Buddha said, “Events happen, deeds are done, but there is no individual doer thereof.”
Now, that's all very nice, but honestly it means nothing to most people, it's just a thought, another so-called “meaningful saying” to get hung up on. Why confuse yourself with all these theories? Just assume you're doing it all. However, know deeply with pure conviction that “if it could be different, it would be different!” And in fact, there is NOTHING you could have done about it! Period.
Now this thought, although like all the other thoughts floating around in your mind, will give you peace. Because now you are free to stop lamenting what you can't do, or didn't do, and start living in what's happening now. Now you have a chance at discipline and enjoying it while it lasts.

Q: How can things be “only as they can be?” What happened to free will?
A: Ahh, the “free will” question. You want to exercise your free will, so you can do what? Eat pizza, instead of eggs? Or perhaps marry Jane, instead of Gertrude? This free will is very important to you, isn't it? It's that one big thing that sets you apart from the ants and turkeys and gives you your identity. You certainly don't want to be identified with a turkey.
Well, darlings, good news again – although it appears that you have free will, and you desperately want to be smart and wise enough to have free will, and you've convinced yourself with all your intellectual and spiritual knowledge that you have free will – you absolutely don't even have a smidgen of it!!!
You only “appear to be a big shaker and maker,” but in truth, it's shakin' and bakin' you. It can only be, as it is, in spite of all your so-called decisions and choices. But again, even though you may know with absolute conviction that you don't have free will, it's still smart to function as if you do. Otherwise, it's just too confusing and really doesn't make sense, because the appearance of free will and making choices is so strong.
So relax. What does it matter who has free will, as long as you accept your “apparent” choices and know with deep peace that, “If it could have been different, it would have been different.” Now you can go have fun, without constantly regretting your choices and boggling your mind with the concept of free will.

Q: According to many well-­known New Age thinkers and healers, you're not in control of the events that happen to your life, but you're in control of how you deal with those events. That suggests a degree of control and free will. Could you comment on that?
A: Honestly, I don't know what they're talking about. It's sounds like goobly­-goop to me, another theory to peddle to people so they can feel safe and in control. THAT which structured the events, also structured how you dealt with those events. You'll notice that when unexpected things happen to you, regardless of your spiritual or psychological training, you'll deal with things differently each time. Sometimes you handle things well and sometimes you don't. Either way, relax with the results of your attitude or actions. It is what it is. The events couldn't be different and your thinking and reactions couldn't be different. So forget all this third-rate psychological mind manipulation to feel safe and in control. In reality, you're already safe and the Big Kahuna is in control.

Q: I used to be so creative. I'm so dull now. What's happening?
A: Nothing. As usual. It's just a change, a simple second frame of the movie. Stop getting so hung up on every little change that takes place and blame yourself or something else for that change. It's the nature of life to change.
Sometimes you're creative and extraordinary, and sometimes you're not. Get used to the idea that everything is in flux and is always changing – even you. Tomorrow perhaps you'll be creative again. You don't have to run in desperation to the next seminar or healer on creativity. Relax. Everything comes full circle and happens in its own good time. Go to the beach, play with your children, watch “I Love Lucy”– but please, stop this constant yearning for the past. Be at peace with what's happening now.

- - - - -

SoOoO comforting, I find. By the way, Dvorah is pals with Sri Sri Ravi Shankar aka Guruji. The dude who founded the organization behind those courses I’ve been taking. I did one last week & it was awesome, I had some really gr8 days.

A couple of years ago I had a dream of a roller coaster for fairies that had tulle & ribbons. However the other night I dreamt about a girl having a scorpion in her mouth. Possibly an allegory for what things have been like THIS week -__-

I hadn’t been remembering my dreams much lately until the past couple of days, although the other stuff I dreamt was pretty normal: Melik being the drummer in an all-girl band. Partying on a weeknight w/ Silvana @ a hotel Bauen-esque place & planning to get drinks that had eggnog & vodka - Ew…I’ve never had eggnog, but it seems ew. Plus vodka? Double ew. Chatting w/ Jeremy who was back in California. Planning what 2 wear 2 a meeting w/ Martin LBT, trying on different outfits. Seeing Ernestina Pais @ the supermarket.

Expression of the moment: "Elephant in the room" is an English idiom for an obvious truth that is being ignored or goes unaddressed. The idiomatic expression also applies to an obvious problem no one wants to discuss. It is based on the idea that an elephant in a room would be impossible to overlook; thus, people in the room who pretend the elephant is not there might be concerning themselves with relatively small and even irrelevant matters, compared to the looming big one. Source